You didn’t choose your parents and siblings, but you had the choice to choose your partner and you can’t blame it on someone else. In some instances, there is this rivalry between your wife and your mother, all geared towards who gets better attention from you, the son and husband. In the same vein, there’s a natural pull that tends to draw you towards one side. The question The Next Edition is asking is: Between your mother and your wife who are you closer to?
Mr. Samuel Jonas:
“I am closer to my mother than my wife because my wife can decide to leave whenever the struggle gets tougher, she might not be able to endure with me to the last and in that case, if she gets another man who is giving her all she needs, then she might leave and follow the man but no matter what, my mom will still be there for me.”
Mr. Musa Saheed:
“I am closer to my mother than my wife because if you get married to a woman who loves you because you are rich and famous, she can decide to plot your downfall in other to inherit your wealth. She can also put you into trouble and when she sees that you can’t get out of the trouble may decide to leave you to face your troubles alone but my mom will not desert me in time of trouble, I can also send her away if she is proving to be uncontrollable.”
Mr. Okon Ifiok:
“Mother and son relationships is very pure and eternal. No one can give a perfect definition to it. I have been the apple of her eyes. However, another wonderful woman has come into my life and that’s my wife. But right now, I think the conflict of emotions has started affecting the bond between myself and my mother. Though I haven’t changed the way I love her, but she feels very much insecure inside. My love for my wife has been creating fear in mama’s heart, that is, she fears that she might lose her son.”
Mr. Ishola Ahmad:
“My mother has her spot in my life likewise my wife , so I try to balance the affection between them in other to make peace reign in the house.”
Mr. Adekunle Ishola:
“I am closer to my mother than my wife reason being that, my mom carried me for nine months in her womb, raised me to what I have become now, starve because of me. She can never leave me no matter what unlike a wife who can leave at any time but a mother would never do that.”
Mother s’ influence on her children is overwhelming. It’s especially important for husbands to filter their mothers’ opinions and advice on their wives because some can be borne out of jealousy. Accepting wise advice from an experienced older adult isn’t a bad thing, but one must discern what advice to take — and what to ignore.
If your mother exercises too much influence over your wife’s parenting, that’s a problem. It can also be a problem if you pressure your wife to create a parenting experience for your kids that is similar to what you grew up in.
Wives don’t pressure yourself into trying to please your husband by trying to compete with the mother. You are not her! Be secure in your identity, strengths, talents, and even weaknesses.
Your husband likely wasn’t looking for a clone of his mother to marry — even if he did bring expectations and comparisons from his childhood into your marriage. He wants a wife, and your responsibility is to be just that.
