“Mummy, how did the baby enter your tummy?” asked six year old Dami. This is a question most mums and dads dread, but nothing to worry about because someday one inquisitive child will always ask when the opportunity arises. You can either launch into the stork bringing the baby story or a similar version, gloss over the details or give the birds and bees talk depending on the age as much as you can.
The familiar thought that some parents nurse is the appropriate time or period to begin to talk about sex education. Some keep it on their minds for too long until the cookie crumbles, while others take the bull by horns and break the ice.
Dr. Vitalis Etim, a consultant and gynecologist, is of the opinion that sex education should start in Primary school if it’s to have its intended impact. “The content of what is given differs from different age groups. That is usually the approach to be able to control the information that the child needs at different age groups.” he said.
What information exactly should be given and at what age? To that Mrs Choima Iwu, a Montessori educator says “as early as two years old when the children start talking. As long as the child knows the parts of the body, Then, you can tell the child that, we all have private parts and it belongs to him /her alone.” This is the very basic information you can give out at that age.
Some parents also weigh in at how they go about this very sensitive topic.
Mrs. Geraldine Bankole who has an eight-year old son and a five-year old daughter says “I talk to them on the regular, giving little details. They shouldn’t be naked in the same room as the opposite sex, don’t let an uncle carry you, don’t allow your private part to be touched by anyone, don’t touch anyone’s own and I also tell them to come and ask me when they are curious about anything. The boy sees the dogs mate so he has more questions and he’s told adults do same only after marriage.”
Other parents still find this approach too much.
Mrs Francisca Aderemi says “ I haven’t told my children anything really. I don’t know how to broach it. Maybe I’ll wait until she’s old enough I will give her the whole talk. As for the boys, the father can handle them.”
With the parents, they mostly agreed that they inform their kids to be careful of every one, dress appropriately even at home when there are visitors and they are also made to know that no one should touch their private parts.
When asked if they were given sex education while growing up, some young people were divided in opinions, while some confirmed they were talked to, others said nobody told them anything about their bodies.
Henrietta Ugo said “I don’t think I was. All they said is the usual ‘if you sleep with a boy you will get pregnant.’ That’s really insufficient, come to think of it.”
Damien Rotimi said his father did give him the talk. “He took me into his study, I think I was 13 then and told me how to treat women with respect and then talked to me about sex and how it has great consequences and I should be sure before I embark on it. He also showed me a condom that day and did a bit of a demonstration. The whole thing lasted 20 minutes or so. At the end, I could see how relieved he was as I was too. The rest I picked up from friends and books.”
Adequate sex education should be taken more seriously by parents, guardians and schools alike. Granted not all the information can be given at the same time but a foundation has to be built and most importantly, let the children know the topic is up for discussion. That way they will always come to their authority figures with their questions rather than their peers.
