According to the Cambridge English Dictionary, Etiquette means the set of rules or customs that control accepted behaviour in particular social groups or social situations. The introduction of the word social in the definition implies that it is something you need to know or have if you are going to be in public among a group of people. Not public alone; even privately.
For example, social etiquette dictates that men cannot sit while women are standing, but how often is this observed? Nowadays, mannerisms don’t seem to take this particular dictate into consideration, assuming that is some young men now even know about this social etiquette.
In the African culture, etiquette is even more required especially of the teenagers to the young adults, with the advent of the new age adults, so many mannerisms are either no longer being taught or not just ‘in vogue’ anymore. Are the young ones so eager to shed off what they see as the old ways or are parents no longer enforcing these manners? So what are some of the etiquettes we are no longer upholding? Granted some were eccentric and rather odd, but are still part of the African/Nigerian culture.
PLEASE AND THANK YOU
The very basic act, the number one social rule is fading out. People rarely say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ again. For the young ones it’s even worse, the belief is if you didn’t do it for me, I shouldn’t be required to thank you for it. For instance, a taxi man drops you off; you feel because you are paying him the thanks isn’t necessary. This wasn’t always the case, children were being taught and saying please and thank you was enforced no matter the social status or situation. This is, however, not the case again.
GREETINGS
This wasn’t only limited to people you knew but to all and sundry. You passed a stranger who is an elder on the street, you greeted the person. That culture has faded away now. In fact, saying a word of greeting to someone on the street may be seen as something wrong as people are no longer expecting it anymore.
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OPENING DOORS / CAR DOORS
Another social etiquette demands that men open doors for women. These days you find men struggling to go through doors even when it’s being held open by a woman. It’s quite comical to see at times.
As for opening car doors, did we even practice this? It is part of the acceptable social etiquette of what’s expected of a man to do for a woman.
BEING ON TIME
This is one social dictate that more than half the population needs to be schooled on again. People don’t realize it is rude to not be on time for an appointment. Here we even personalized it and called in “Nigerian time” so even when setting a time for an event, people now factor in the Nigerian time factor! This should not be so and a lot of work needs to be done on this to get people back into the art of being punctual.
GIVING UP SEATS IN PUBLIC PLACES
As a young man or girl, social etiquette dictates if you are seated in a public place or public transport and an elder / older person walks in and there is no available space, you are expected to stand and give up your seat. These days, young people don’t care about such, some even go as far as struggling to get the last seat with an older person.
Should these practices be phased out with the ‘modern’ age? Or are they mannerisms that need to be reactivated? If you believe they should then it’s up to you to do your part, follow through even when it seems odd in a world where social graces are no longer a thing. As a parent, teach your child social graces / etiquettes so they in turn can influence others around them. If you are of the school of thought that feels these things are no longer necessary in the< growing world, do well to remember a smile, a greeting is sometimes just what that stranger on the road needs to brighten his or her day.
