Recently, a question was posed on social media as to whether same sex secondary schools encourage homo-sexuality. Ade (not real name) replied that his parents refused to send him to an all boys’ school because they feared he will turn out gay. He, however, disclosed that in spite of their efforts, he still ended up choosing that path. This sparked off a heated argument on whether same sex schools play a role in who becomes gay or a lesbian.
Secondary school or high school is a very defining period for any teenager’s life. This is the time they get to leave their parents’ shadows and ‘find’ themselves and their niche in life. Even for those who attend day schools, those few hours away from home put them in a different world entirely. Those in boarding schools tend to be away for months at a time and this further exposes them to different influences.
All over Nigeria, the Federal Government Colleges were loudly touted; some were mixed and some were same sex schools. It was a thing of joy to get admitted in any of these institutions. Schools like Hope Waddell, King’s College, Queens College, and Federal Government Girls Colleges, till this day are very highly acclaimed. Is one to assume then that they have been hotbeds for raising gays and lesbians? Different people have different opinions about this.
Toyin Alatise-Abimbola a clinical psychologist and founder of PsychNG shared her thoughts on the subject. “Same gender schools do not encourage homosexuality but may cause some to want to try something out of curiosity and in turn it becomes a habit as they only get to try with the gender available.”
She added: “Our personality is shaped up by both nature and nurture. This means thorough consideration of biological and environmental makeup is key to understanding how we are shaped.”
She said researches have proven that the genetic makeup of a homosexual is quite different from that of a heterosexual’s.
“We learn by observation, conditioning, and experiences. We form different habits and pinions from our social environment starting from the immediate environment,” she said.
The background each individual is from, their religion, social status, morality they follow will play a part in what each individual chooses to do eventually.
Also speaking on the subject Pastor Mike Fatukasi who has been a school principal for over 10 years, said going to a same sex schools should ordinarily not be a problem. According to him, this depends on how well managed the children are.
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“It depends on the management. With good management they focus not just on academics but on teaching them morals as well. There is nothing bad with same sex schools, I myself went to an all boys’ school. It is necessary for the housemasters and housemistresses in the dormitories to ensure no immoral acts go on there.”
Some former students who attended same sex schools also shared their thoughts.
Anita Samuel who attended an all girls’ school for the first three years before moving to a mixed one said: “My first kiss was with a girl in JSS2. She was my school friend; a school friend in my school was different from your regular friend or classmate because either she asked you out or you did so it was a little bit different. I still remember the dorm we were in and the setting. We were on her bed, thankfully it didn’t go further.
“Same sex schools especially back then really did push one in that direction, but by choice, I would say. I don’t know about now and what they are doing. We exchanged gifts with our school mothers, school sisters and school friends. Valentine days were a big deal and elaborately celebrated. I outgrew it when I left after JSS3 but I remember feeling terrified on my first day in the sea of boys in my mixed school.
“However, few weeks down the line, I already had a crush on a boy and forgot about the girl I kissed. Anyone who went to a girls’ school then must have had this feeling cause that’s what we saw but also we grew out of it.”
Deji Ola said: “Your lifestyle as a student in an all boys’ school is influenced by your peers. If you practise it with others there and carry on after school then yes it can make you gay. My own case was different as it made me something of an extremist towards the opposite sex; I hated girls and grew up not liking them.”
Joyce Imoh, a product of an all girls’ school said: “I think it does because not everyone had the resolve to resist overtures like I did. Most girls did it so as to feel accepted, loved or to belong. I had no problem not feeling amongst considering the house I came from. Same sex schools tend to make girls not ready for ‘toasters’ in university and ready to fall for the first guy who asks them out during that first year in the university. It doesn’t really prepare them for male-female relationships.”
At the end of the day, influences can only work on teenagers as far as he or she is willing to allow it. The mind can be easily addled at times but those with strong constitution can learn to say no to influences not in line with their upbringing or personal expectations.
